Still Here...

In case you thought I had ascended and was no longer
here...

Ha! ha! Right.

So many changes and things to deal with... I just have not felt like writing. I'll begin with the following which was written over a month ago, but still applies.

Lately I spend a lot of time playing computer games, especially through Facebook, where you can create many different kinds of worlds. I say I will only play for an hour, and then find 8 hours have gone by (or more).I have felt uninterested in doing much else. It seems that every time I try to 'do' something in the 'real' world, it fails or does not get off the ground, yet I am a 'millionaire' in these games. True, I am still sad over the death of my cat Grace, worried over my finances, and still recovering from the ankle I broke in May. I have been allowing myself to just while away the time, sensing that this just a phase and it will pass.

At first, I was concerned about myself. Was I totally losing it? Wasting so much time, accomplishing nothing. But I saw that most people 'waste' a lot of time. That in fact, ultimately, almost everything we do is a waste of time. What 'real' value is there in 'work'? I thought about this a lot. The only thing I found to be of value is helping others. But then, even that turns out to be useless to some extent. It just seems better because it appears to be self-less.

I really started looking at other people's lives and saw that most people have a certain amount of leisure time which they waste in front of a T.V. or some such dulling activity.

Even though I live in the country, there is a state highway that goes out to the ocean next to my property. I can see it from where I sit playing my games. Every morning and evening the 'rush hour' as they go to and from work. On Friday and Sunday nights a steady stream of campers, RVs and motorcycles as they go to 'have fun'. Yet what is the purpose and meaning of all this activity? Make enough money to live and to have fun on your free time. All that driving back and forth. While I am totally content right here, neither coming nor going - just being here.

I saw that millions of people all over the world play these games and that one can 'communicate' with people this way. You give each other gifts of all kinds and there is sense of community. It is amazing how I have begun to feel affection for these strangers based on the 'hearts' they send or the consistency with which they attend to their virtual farms.

Then one night it occurred to me that in fact, creating and living in the virtual worlds of games is preparation for living in a non-material reality.

There is a lot written about the power of the creative imagination. All that humans have created, began in their minds. Every invention began as a thought and thus on the energetic level. It is also said that the level of existence will be totally on the level of energy. Perhaps these virtual worlds are parallel realities, like our dream world. Learning to work within these virtual worlds may be like mastering lucid dreaming. Perhaps there is a 'bleed through effect'.

I will say this, after years of wishing for a particular change in my herbal products business, I literally got my wish one night. At the moment it happened, it felt like I had just hit the 'Enter' button on a newly created universe. I had been thinking about something I wanted to occur in my company and one night 'out of the blue' I got just what I wanted.

I realized I had imagined it for 2 years. And I had decided that I would not 'look' for the opportunity. That for me to know it was the right thing to do, someone had to ask me rather than me trying to sell it to them. And it happened.

In fact, the only things that 'work' these days are things that I do not seek myself. They are all gifts from the Universe. Whatever I try to initiate myself, fails or has to be recalled.

I was all set to go to the Resonance Project training with Nassim Haramein this weekend in Joshua Tree. I was really looking forward to it, but my financial situation got so bad that I had to cancel. I am quite disappointed.

It was a year ago (over Halloween weekend) that I went to the Shift by the Bay 2012 Conference in San Francisco and my whole life changed.

Now I am teaching Mayan Hieroglyphs, the Calendar and 2012... Spring semester 2010 in two locations... Santa Rosa Junior College and Delta College in Stockton.

I have continued reading every book I can find on 2012 no matter how strange, so I can see what others are thinking about it. I am also getting deeper into my own research.

I am studying glyphs related to portals.

I discovered an incredible book, that was published in 1991, but had never heard of before. From the Mouth of the Dark Cave is a study of ritual use of caves and the associated iconography. Caves are considered portals to the Underworld. The gods are born from and live in caves. The author has shown how rituals depicted on stelae actually took place in caves.

Preparing for Ascension

We are in the midst of a huge paradigm shift. It is affecting all major areas of life. An amazing film that shows how the new physics is affecting the field of medicine is The Living Matrix.

It demonstrates how fields outside our bodies affect our health. Health is a relationship between inner and outer - another level of 'as above, so below.' The heart is the major organ of perception and the brain follows. The body responds last.

Our system of medicine works on the slowest level - the body. Psychology works at the next slowest level - the mind. No wonder it takes people so long to heal.

The portal that we entered a few years ago, which will climax with the completion of the 13th baktun and coincide with the Solstice of December 21, 2012, will provide an opportunity for many to 'ascend' to the next level.

What this will look like 'on the ground' I am not sure. I do feel that in some way, it will look like a judgement day in the sense that 'the sheep will be separated from the goats.' But it has nothing to do with judgement by an outside force (God). Those who judge themselves will condemn themselves. This is what I believe.

Emotional healing is key component to the 'ascension' process as it is to optimal functioning at any level. As I move about in the world, I sense that many if not most people are suffering deep emotional wounds of one sort or another. Trauma has many causes. It may serve a higher purpose however, which is to force us to 'wake up.' My experience shows me that most people learn through pain rather than through the other major modality - pleasure. When we are in deep pain and not 'medicating' through escape behavior - and we decide we want to do something about it - this is the first step. (It can be equated to the 12 steps). When we realize that our lives are unmanageable because of what our pain has made us do or not do (self-sabotage for example), then we can address the causes of the pain and removing that imprint from our being.

We are being offered so many modalities for emotional healing right now. There is no reason to continue to suffer or be caught in addiction. This film shows many new methods. One that I am looking into is Thought Field Therapy. It looks a lot like Emotional Freedom Technique working with the energy meridians by tapping on them in a particular sequence and pattern. I am fascinated with the whole concept.

While this idea is new and is related to the New Physics, traditional cultures may have referred to this field as a ghost, demonic possession, spirit companion, etc. that hovers just beyond or even inside one's aura. Now we see this as a thought field that can be modified.

How is Country-western Music Like Sufism?

When I was a child, my mother liked to listen to country-western music (as well as many other genres). I hated it. She told me "some day you will love it." I didn't believe her. But... it was true. After I had my heart broken a few times, suffered, cried myself to sleep over love, I got it. To really like country-western music, unless you grew up with it, you have to have suffered a broken heart. Read on to see how that is like Sufism.

Just finished reading Serpent of Light: Beyond 2012 by Drunvalo Melchizedek. I have to admit I have been avoiding this one because I thought it was too far out. But since I am reading everything on the subject, I knew I would have to read it eventually. (Hmmm kind of like country-western music)

What I found was one of the books that may not necessarily be 'true' on the level of the intellectual mind, but does have a huge 'inexplicable' effect on the heart and psyche.

For one thing, I had a hard time putting it down. It was compelling. For another, ever since I started reading it, it has been affecting me at a deep level. I can feel something shifting in me.

When I read a book like this I know that there is a level of 'truth' to it that is beyond the intellectual way of thinking. In fact, I can still hear myself saying 'Oh come on...'. Meanwhile I find myself in tears for no reason or finally understanding the difficulty I am having working with the public lately.

Now that I can leave the house, drive and walk, I don't want to be 'in the world' at all. This has been a disturbing recent development. But after reading Drunvalo's book, I had an inspiration concerning what is happening to me and why I am so sensitive to energy.

This is coming forth right now because of this eclipse we are in. I feel a strong desire to re-connect (in a different way) with the Sufi path I have been on (with some detours) for the past 15 years. It has been referred to as the path for those with a broken heart.

The timing of completing the book, the eclipse, working at the County Fair and seeing my teacher's face is perfect. Of course. And once again, The Galactic Alignment is not only occurring out there in the sky. It is occurring in our heart.

Nassim Haramein says there are black holes at all levels of existence. At the level of the human body, the black hole is in our heart. This is the place of creation. Drunvalo says the same thing in this book. And... the Maya say the same thing. The Dark Rift is also the ultimate place of creation/recreation. Death, Birth, Rebirth.

Teachings For Cycle Endings

For all of my European readers, Nassim Haramein will be with you in August. I highly recommend that you go to one of his presentations if you can.

He will be giving public talks in Europe in August. He will be appearing in Belgium the week of August 3, Spain the week of August 8, Germany soon after, the UK the week of August 15, and the Netherlands on August 21 and 22. More specific details will be announced soon. Go to The Resonance Project website.

Nassim Haramein will be appearing live in the Watford area of London on Thursday, August 13, 2009 from 12:30PM - 4:30PM (GMT) at the Park Inn Watford.

I first heard about his ideas from one of his emissaries who spoke in Sebastopol, CA in conjunction with Daniel Pinchbeck. After that, I watched some of the videos on YouTube and purchased a DVD.

While I have not seen nor heard all that is available by him, what I have seen is truly amazing and his so much to do with what we are beginning to experience vis a vis 2012 and the Galactic Alignment.

I have signed up for his training in Joshua Tree, Halloween weekend.

Meanwhile my own research on ancient Mayan ideas related to portals is deepening. There has not yet been a sufficient explanation of either the origins of Mayan cultural developments such as the calendar or writing system, or the 'collapse' of the culture and the subsequent decline. Perhaps the 'itzers' left through the portals/wormholes from whence they originally came. Perhaps, having seeded a particular element in consciousness that would resurface now, they were free to move on to their next 'assignment.'

Jenkins says the monuments at Izapa have instructions for those who live at cycle endings - us. Of course, I wish he would spell it out a little better for the denser ones among us - like me.

I feel I am having to piece together information gathered from many sources, then, trusting in my own intuition, come up with an understanding.

As above, so below, with Pluto at the beginning of Capricorn, all structures are either collapsing or in dire need of transformation. We simply cannot go back to things as they were, even if we could. In order for humanity to evolve to the next level, everything has to be redesigned. See my astrology blog.

Haramein's ideas are a crucial part of understanding what is occurring and it's significance.

Thanks to My Friend Bob B. - That's What Friends Are For

For those of you who are interested in the progress of my CD-ROM - Beginning Mayan Hieroglyph Class - it is coming along well and should be available soon.

I was wondering the other day how I got into this 2012 thing. I never gave it much thought even though I knew the calender would 'end' I also knew that since the Maya had a cyclic view of time and that endings overlap with beginnings, I wasn't that concerned.

Then I remembered that my long time friend Bob B. had suggested I read 2012: Return of Quetzalcoatl by Daniel Pinchbeck. That's what started it.

One thing led to another and I realized I had purchased Jenkins' Galactic Alignment at the NCGR (National Council for Geocosmic Research) conference in Baltimore a couple of years ago, feeling that it was important, but not sure why. I also read his Maya Cosmogenesis and had quite a shock.

Many years ago, I did pen and ink drawings on handmade paper, of any date requested in Mayan hieroglyphs. I remembered that I got an order from Terence McKenna's wife for the Maya end date. Not sure if she wanted the GMT or the GMT+2, I wrote back for clarification. It was the GMT. So, I made the drawing, which was to be a gift for McKenna from his wife. Seems that it was McKenna who had uncovered significance to the end date that others had not seen. Unknowingly the web of connection was being woven even then. I wonder whatever happened to that pen and ink drawing? A few years later, I saw the two McKenna brothers at the Bioneers Conference and learned about plant messengers.

After reading Pinchbeck, I started reading everything I could find on the topic then went to the Shift by the Bay in S.F. Halloween weekend 2008 and everything changed for me.

I was so inspired and felt that finally all my pursuits, studies, hobbies - entire life experience had been preparing me for this present time. I had read all the books, studied the languages, travelled to most of the places, following my intuition - and now I knew why.

It was such an exhilarating experience to have all the pieces of my life finally fit together.

With my natal Jupiter conjunct the Galactic Center in my 4th house, opposing Uranus in my 10th house, and my mid-heaven conjunct the Pleiades, my natal astrology chart clearly indicated someone whose mission was connected to this time period. That is why I decided to teach my Mayan Hieroglyph class again after a hiatus of several years. See my astrology blog.

As is my wont, I have many interests. I move between them in a kind of spiral motion. Revisiting them, hopefully, on a deeper level each time.

When I stopped teaching my Maya course before, it was to deeply immerse myself in Sufism. I studied to become a Cherag (minister of the Universal Worship), became an initiated Semazen (dervish in the Mevlevi Order), and studied Classical Arabic so as to read and recite Qur'an.

In the past few years, I have gone to several training programs in herbalism and related topics, and gotten more deeply into astrology as well. See my herbal blog.

I regret none of this, because even these subjects, which might seem unrelated to the Maya, have deepened my understanding of their language and cosmology during the Classic period.

Studying the religions of the world for my ordination, I learned how religions are deeply connected at their core. It is only the external forms that differ - related to time and space. The message is very much the same, but new messengers are required who speak to the times of a particular culture.

One way I interpret the idea that Muhammad is the seal of the prophets, ie, the last prophet, is that in the current day we all have direct access to God and can receive divine inspiration ourselves. We don't need prophets anymore. (This is just my opinion). we are all potentially prophets.

As I see it, part of the 2012 shift, is that religion will no longer be needed. The past 5125 years has been the Age of Religion (as I see it). People needed to have someone else, something else, help them to figure out what to do, provide moral guidance, etc. That has run its course. The reason I know this is that it has become its opposite. The intention has now been run through totally and it has now become the justification for immoral acts. We see it everyday. Religion justifying horrendous behavior. No longer the ideal towards which we strive, it has become the excuse for being our worst possible selves. Obviously religion's day is done.

What's next? People taking personal responsibility for themselves and the results of their actions. Conscience, accountability, integrity. Only then can we move to the next level.

The zeros in the end date are portals. They indicate that we have spiralled up into the next level of human development. What comes next for each one of us depends on what we want to see in our future. Each thought, word, action contributes to creating the next 'world'. We all have free will. It's up to you. Set your intention.

In The Flow of Time

My class is coming along fine despite my broken ankle and transportation challenges. I still can't walk or drive and have to be moved around in a wheelchair.

I am so fortunate to have Stargazer Li from Keeping Time in the class. The other night I was presenting the Calendar Round, ie. the tzolkin and haab calendars and Li added so much to the conversation.

She has been following the tzolkin for 13 years. She also produces her own 'modernized' calendar and makes incredible planetary essence blends using planets, rocks and trees. Check out her website - Keeping Time.

The first night of class, I was searching for the flower essences I had chosen to take to help me with nerves (performance jitters), but could not find them. I remembered I had Li's Pluto Potion there in the car, but thought "this is way too potent and I don't need any more excitement tonight." So I didn't take it. The tzolkin day was Etznab (sacrificial knife - obsidian or flint). Ha! The Pluto Potion contains obsidian! Wow, right on target. That first night did feel like a bloodletting ritual for me because I had so many challenges to overcome. I suffered all night and all the next day. I was not able to control my mind. It felt like some heavy karmic thing was being played out which I could at best observe. It also contains pomegranate, the fruit Persephone eats by mistake while in the Underworld. In some way, I feel this time that I am restricted to my house as a kind of journey to the Underworld. I am very familiar with it. I spend a lot of time there for one reason or another.

For the ancient Maya, the Underworld was the place of death and rebirth. The challenges overcome there would prepare one for rebirth. You didn't stay there permanently.

My interest is on the belief system of the ancient and modern Maya. And while the calendar is an intrinsic part of that, I have not taken the time to master it. I see myself more as a synthesizer. I study a wide range of topics, find connections, and pull them together. I usually don't focus on one area and go deeply into it.

It is great to have someone in the class who knows so much about the tzolkin and works with it everyday.

After class, I pointed out to her that there are 260 katuns in a Great Cycle of 13 baktuns. Could each katun relate to a day in the tzolkin? We would be in the last "day" which is Ahaw. Since a katun is approximately 20 years, the last 'day' that is the last katun of the 13 baktuns would have started around 1992 or so.

For more information on flower essences see my herb blog.
For more information on Pluto, see my astrology blog.

We Are All Students, We Are All Teachers

Since I don't have T.V. out here in the woods where I live, I miss those few programs that are worthwhile. I get Netflix, which allows me to be selective about what I see and when I see it.

I came across this DVD of a show put out by PBS NOVA that is a must see and a must have for anyone interested in studying Mayan Culture and the Hieroglyphs - Cracking the Maya Code. I highly recommend it.

Watching it, I realize how far the study has come since I was a graduate student studying glyphs for the first time in the early 80s. Watching the DVD, I saw many people I knew and associated with then. For just a moment, I regretted my decision to abandon that path. I might have become one of those people in the program.

At the time, however, and ever since then, I realized I could not play academic politics (nor any politics for that matter). This has never been possible for me. I have not felt it was worth becoming a false person or changing just to please people or get ahead. I'm not saying the people in the DVD did that. It's just that I didn't feel I could be myself in that environment.

My path has been of a different order. With that in mind, about 15 years ago, I got deeply involved in a spiritual path. My whole life was committed to it. I began to take on responsibilities and minor leadership, but, once again, politics (yes, even in spiritual groups there are politics), drove me out. Even though I was becoming part of 'the in-crowd', I was disappointed to see people jostling for a seat next to the Teacher. Competition turns me off.

I don't think there is anything wrong with accomplishment. People who work hard and achieve goals, of all types, merit reward or at least acknowledgement. But that is different from situations where people are put on pedestals and regarded as superior.

The Mayan rulers claimed the divine right to rule, as many rulers have through human history. They wrote about their connections to ancestor gods which made them 'special' and therefore entitled.

My favorite part of the DVD is at the end where they show Mayan children learning to read and write in hieroglyphs. That would have been worth working toward.

Currently, I am becoming the author of my own life. I bow to no authority. I have a direct relationship with the Spirit of Guidance. I don't need any intermediaries. I sit at no one's feet. This requires a level of trust that sometimes alludes me. I am challenged on a regular basis. There is no one else who has THE ANSWER. Some have a piece of the puzzle. I have to follow my inner guidance system, known as Intuition, to see what is true and what is not. We all do.